Aku sedang merenung seberapa berat dosa-dosa yang kuselipkan di balik kebaikan-kebaikan yang telah dilakukan. Layar timbangan tanpa babibu memberitahu seberapa berat biji kopi menjejali wadahnya. Belum sempat berhitung, jejalan butiran legam yang tampak seragam dijerumuskan ke medan penggilingan. Tidak ada teriakan, hanya raungan bilah pisau memutar, mengikuti irama mesin. Aku tak bisa menutup telinga. Serbuk yang tetap legam seragam keluar, kembali ditampung di wadah silver. Kini jemari bisa menekan memporak-porandakannya, beda sebelumnya. Waktu yang singkat, hanya beberapa menit, tak memberikan jeda istirahat. Air panas perlahan membalur permukaan badan, sedikit berasap. Serbuk-serbuk kebasahan, membiarkan tetesan yang tetap legam seragam mengalir ke penampungan. Wujudnya larut, bekasnya menetap.
إلى جدّتي، في رحمة الله Sore hari yang aku kira biasa, 29 September 2026. You left us with too much love for Grief to remember your flaws. What stays are words you gave, And every lesson that you carved. My lifelong witness, constant and true, I thank the heavens for sending you. Across the path early to guard, As if an angel came from above. There are so many chapters to tell, Of all the ways you knew me well. My selfish hopes you were still here, A little longer, just more few years. But you’re seventeen again, they say. Your wings grown wide, fly, fly away. Your heart, your lungs, your blood, your breath, no longer bound by agony. I’ll miss you more than words can bear, But I wish you know I’m still right here. Still writing on, still learning how, Still becoming, somehow, somehow. Your body won't fail you twice, leaving those fragile hands of time. So rest now, where nothing hurts, where no goodbye can reach us